“Twilight is bullshit” – Carla Collins Opens Up
"I generally get called in to play a bitch or a slut"
Canadian comedienne Carla Collins’ show CarlaWood, her adventures in LA as a jobbing actress, is into its second season but she still somehow found the time to educate the world with her new book “Angels, Vampires and Douchebags’, a self-help book in her own inimitable style. We tracked her down and bring you her thoughts on the meaning of ‘self-help’, Twilight, and Glenn Beck.
EOS : Your show CarlaWood is in season 2 now and a lot of the humour comes from your attempts to make it big in Hollywood. How is the Canadian auditioning experience different from LA?
Carla : More maple syrup and Cirque du Soleil performers at Canadian auditions and fewer Mexicans.
EOS : Which roles are you most often put up for, is there an epithet which you always end up auditioning for?
I generally get called in to be a bitch or a slut. Apparently I have the range of a set of Fisher Price walkie talkies. However, I recently played the part of a drugged out, homeless, white witch so now it looks like I’m finally hitting my stride. Naturally, I went method for this so I went through a lot of blow and eyes of newts for the part.
EOS : Tina Fey has been called ‘the American Carla Collins’ – do you think that the two of you would work well together? Are there any comedians working in LA who you would really like to collaborate with?
Yeah, Tina gets that all the time, she’s tiring of it. I think we would work really well together, we would especially sizzle in torrid love scenes. I think we should do a comedic version of “Thelma and Louise” with more shenanigans and less rape and death.
There are so many comics I’d love to work with like Louie CK, Ricky Gervais, Will Ferrell and Glenn Beck…that guy is hilarious.
EOS : You have just released a self-help book, was this because you find them helpful yourself or because others aren’t relevant to you?
Yes, I find them very helpful. I like to read “The Secret” while pleasuring myself.
EOS : The book is called “Angels, Vampires and Douchebags”, aren’t you afraid that with the current vampire obsession people will be buying it thinking “Great! How do I bag me a bloodsucking monster?”
Who cares as long as they’re buying the book? I’ve never been bogged down by facts. I don’t get the whole frenzy over vampires and why everyone thinks they’re so sexy. I think Twilight is total BS, I don’t get it. Then again, I’m not eleven.
EOS : PR agencies love to have down and out celebs papped reading books like The Secret, which celebrity is most likely to be pictured with your book?
I’m pretty sure it will be Mel Gibson. Or Chewbacca.
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