Join us as we liveblog BBC One’s launch of Graham Norton’s Totally Saturday.

7:30pm – The show concept – they get members of audience in, then steal their belongings.  Uhm.

7:36pm – We’re live!  Apparently.  They’re ’stolen’ an audience members car.  Audience member does not appear particular surprised.

7:38pm – Graham clarifies we should not lock celebrities in other peoples car boots.  I’m not going to do that now, thanks BBC!

7:40pm – Bored now.

7:42pm – The celebrity guest is being questioned as his character in Eastenders.  Nightmare.

7:43pm – THEY KNOCKED DOWN THE GARAGE WALL OF THE CONTESTANT.  BY ACCIDENT.  Whilst stealing his car.  This is a live action disaster.

7:45pm – Graham clarifies the show concept.  Again.  They can steal your stuff.

7:46pm – They’ve “stolen” somebodies Nan.  The somebody they’ve got on stage appears to already be wearing a microphone.

7:47pm – The audience member is going to have to do something with beans.  Baked beans.  Oh dear.

7:48pm – “Dawn” appears on stage.  They’ve conned her on to live TV.  I don’t believe these people haven’t been briefed in advance at all.  She’s even got a load of makeup on.

7:52pm – Memo to BBC – “‘Trust in broadcasting’ and Dawn”.

7:54pm – Lionel Richie is happy.  Good for him.  I’m wondering about changing channel.

7:56pm – Graham warns viewers he may surprise them on the street.  I’m quite scared.

7:57pm – Oh, they’ve put cameras in audience members houses.  Didn’t they do this ten years ago?

7:58pm – Plus side, Graham isn’t taking the audience members seriously at all.

8:00pm – Why is this show called “Totally Saturday”?  I’ve no idea.  People are now dressed as letters on stage.

8:01pm – To win a holiday to Hong Kong they have to work out how to spell.  They’re currently working out how to spell Email.

8:03pm – “Coming up”.  Scenes we haven’t seen yet.  Wasn’t this supposed to be live?  I’m confused.

8:05pm – They’ve got “Boyzone’s Biggest Fans” on.  Fandom mocking begin!

8:08pm – Reader Paul has written in to ask if End Of Show’s Kirsty has been advised not to kidnap celebrities yet, as per the BBC’s advise.  I’ll let her know, Paul.

8:09pm – The fans have handed over their mobile numbers to Boyzone.  I’d never do anything like that…

8:10pm – They’re about to phone a viewer at home….

8:11pm – They’ve got Morna from Glasgow on the phone.  Isn’t that my ex girlfriend?

8:12pm – Oh what a surprise.  Lionel Richie is performing.  It’s like they’ve got him on for publicity purposes or something..

8:14pm – “Oh what a feeling.  Dancing on the ceiling”.  We’re two minutes into those lyrics.

8:15pm – OH what a feeling!  DANCING on the CEILING!  It’s still happening.

8:16pm – He’s stopped!  Graham has being rude at the viewer on the phone.  Viewer is called Lorna, not Morna, so it’s not my ex girlfriend.

8:17pm – Viewer is smart.  Now we have to watch an audience member dressed as a hamster run on a wheel.  “RUN HAMSTER RUN!” screams the viewer down the phone.

8:19pm – Graham appears completely aware how stupid this show is.  But he’s throwing himself at it, so well done Graham.  Next up, a man dressed as a baked bean.

8:21pm – …collecting beans.  With Avril Lavigne music playing at him.

8:22pm – What could be next?  Game on Graham, let’s make it MORE cheesy please?

8:25pm – The show still hasn’t finished.  We appear to be watching a computerised plane cross a computerised map now.

8:27pm – Lady loses the game, loses her holiday to Hong Kong!  HAH.  Hah.  I liked that.

8:28pm – Lionel Richie is back singing us out with his NEW SONG, Graham informs us.  I’m still cackling that the family lost their free holiday.

8:31pm – Well, sorry producers, but if that had been a pre-recorded pilot I don’t think it would have made it to air.  But, hey.  The holiday thing was funny, though.

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